By Kathryn D'Imperio
Several things come to mind when the word fantasy is uttered... Men and women typically harbor different desires, although some overlap is to be expected.
Fantasy can include many things. "Something that I desire but probably won't ever experience", is how one of my close friends described what it means to her. Several of the other friends I have spoken to feel the same way. "Even if you had the opportunity to obtain it", another friend said, "you probably wouldn't want it for very long, it could get annoying to have everything be perfect all the time."
Besides, what makes the best times so great is partly because they stand out from day-to-day routine. Another friend divulged, "When I think fantasy, I think me on the beach with a good book and lots of sun and maybe a guy rubbing some suntan lotion on me while I sip a strawberry daiquiri." One of the best parts about your fantasies is that they can be anything you want them to be. As my friend continued to add more elements to her reverie, the fantasy got better and even more desirable. And though fantasies are limited by the bounds of ones imagination, they can still erupt into reality. With some phone calls and careful planning, next months paycheck could easily become this tropical paradise!
In addition to providing peace of mind and escape from the real world, fantasizing may also serve as a vehicle to a more satisfying sex life. Fantasies put people in touch with their sexuality, while also allowing them to become more comfortable with themselves and within their relationships.
Women tend to be very sensual and romantic, relying on soft lighting, scented candles and slow music to set the mood. When most women fantasize about making love, it is often with a focus on their current partner (though sometimes someone unattainable, famous, etc. may creep into the mind's eye.) Location and setting play important roles as well, and the emotional connection is critical in most cases.
For some women, the ultimate fantasy is just spending time with the one they love. According to one woman, "There are the occasional naughty fantasies, but I think more than anything, I think about being curled up in his arms."
With men, the fantasies turn in quite a different direction. The most common response to the fantasy question should not surprise you. Girl plus girl, and threesomes topped the charts. My very own cousin had no qualms in admitting that to me, and additionally, enough can't be said for the aggressive female. There's something about a woman who knows what she wants and goes for it.
You've seen the movies where busloads of cheerleaders or half-naked babes arrive at the feet of two lone dudes, or many similar instances. There is no getting around it, guys love wome nand sex. And although many fantasies likely do involve the untouchables of society those that we desire but cannot have one male friend notes that he bets most people's fantasies involve everyday people we see.
Not only does the imagined person play a crucial role in the fantasy, but the setting itself is also a critical component. The beach seems to shine as the most desired amorous hot spot with the sound of the waves lapping on the shore, a gentle breeze, and the sand beneath you is just brimming with romance!
So where does fantasy end and reality begin in the realm of sexual fantasy? It al depends on the details of your prospective plan and your partners preferences. More times than not, in the hopes of strengthening the bond with their love or just having a little fun, people are generally somewhat willing to play a bit outside the lines of a cookie cutter relationship.
Not all fantasies are sexually driven; several friends have informed me that theirs center around the dream life, a good marriage, a nice home, car, vacation, the entire package. "It is a fantasy because it is perfect, and life isn't", said one of my friends. And although life may not be perfect, sometimes happiness within our own corner of the world gives that illusion.
Whatever your fantasy may be, treasure it, enjoy it and perhaps share it, if you find yourself with that incredible person.
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